Father takes on Guinness World Record in marathon aqua run to honor daughter who drowned in kayaking accident
I named the campaign “One Foot In Front of the Other” to symbolize how I managed my grief. People often told me to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and this challenge became the physical embodiment of that advice. Consequently, it became the perfect way to raise funds for KBRT and honor Ella’s memory.
- 2 months ago
September 12, 2024
Ralph and his daughter Ella Mills, who passed away in a tragic kayaking accident near Washington, D.C. | Photo courtesy of Ralph Mills
DUBLIN, Ireland – On August 25, 2023, I hugged my daughter, Ella, for the last time before she flew to New York. She was halfway through her dual BA degree at Trinity College Dublin and Columbia University in New York. As we dropped her off at Dublin Airport, we watched her move closer to her journey toward a bright future.
Not long after, our world turned upside down. Early one morning, we received the phone call that every parent dreads. The guards [Irish Police] informed us they would visit our house. When they arrived, they delivered the devastating news: Ella drowned while kayaking on a river near Washington, DC.
Ella’s tragic passing leads family to seek help in returning her remains to Ireland
As a bright and beloved child, my daughter Ella set on a path to profoundly impact the world. Three weeks after beginning her new journey in the United States, she joined a whitewater kayaking expedition on the Potomac River. Caught in strong rapids, she struggled and became trapped under a rock. Tragically, she drowned near Washington, D.C.
While I stayed home to care for our children, my wife, Jo-Ann traveled to New York to bring Ella’s remains home. Repatriating Ella’s remains, which should be a straightforward process, became a painful ordeal for us. Thankfully, Ella’s insurance covered the financial costs. However, many families face significant challenges and financial burdens when repatriating a loved one.
While making efforts to bring Ella back to Ireland, we discovered the Kevin Bell Repatriation Trust (KBRT). This organization steps in during families’ darkest moments, offering financial assistance, legal guidance, and compassionate care throughout the repatriation process. The KBRT supported us, as it did for hundreds of other families. Although Columbia University provided incredible support, the KBRT played a crucial role when we needed it the most.
To honor Ella, dad takes on marathon aqua run and raises funds for KBRT
After Ella’s death, I felt a strong urge to commemorate her. I discussed fundraising ideas with the Official Leinster Rugby Supporters Club after learning that KBRT was their in-house charity for the year. Determined to raise funds for the organization, I brainstormed ways to channel my grief into action.
One day, I took on a few lengths in the West Wood swimming pool in Clontarf and realized the experience mirrored grief. As I pushed against the water’s resistance, I felt the same need to keep moving forward, just as I must do with my grief. This realization inspired me to set a record. Eagerly, I searched the Guinness World Records website and discovered an unclaimed record for marathon aqua running. The challenge perfectly aligned with my situation, as I had access to a large swimming pool with chest-high water and strong community support.
I suggested August 25 as the date for the challenge, marking exactly one year since we last saw Ella alive. Taking on the challenge on this date distracted me, helping me turn a negative moment into a positive one. Finding this unclaimed challenge online felt meaningful and it became like my own climb up Mount Everest. Competing only against myself, I focused on completing the challenge and providing evidence to satisfy Guinness’ record officials.
I named the campaign “One Foot In Front of the Other” to symbolize how I managed my grief. People often told me to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and this challenge became the physical embodiment of that advice. Consequently, it became the perfect way to raise funds for KBRT and honor Ella’s memory.
Training and community support help man overcome challenges in marathon
As a rugby and athletics coach, I always emphasize that doing the activity itself provides the best preparation. So, I started spending long hours in the pool, gradually increasing my sessions to three days a week. Steadily, I increased my hours each week, ensuring my body experienced sufficient recovery time. Before my record attempt, I practiced for five hours every Monday and Wednesday and up to nine hours on Fridays. I trained my body to handle long periods of aqua running up and down the pool. Also, I focused on proper nutrition for the day of the challenge. Together, with these efforts I aimed to sustain my performance until the end.
The support and encouragement from my community strengthened me. The presence of Guinness record officials further fueled my determination. On the day of the challenge, the community turnout felt incredible. Music and dancing created a vibrant atmosphere at the poolside Supporters lined both sides of the lanes and cheered me on. Their immense support played a crucial role in overcoming the mental challenges I faced.
Throughout the grueling hours, my physical therapist stayed with me. His presence proved invaluable as pain in my knees began after the first four hours. Amid the challenging moments in the pool, my physical therapist advised me to wear my wireless headphones. I love epic novels, so I often listened to Moby Dick and James Joyce’s Ulysses during training. Listening to these novels helped me to distract myself from the strain, as the richly woven narratives pulled me into their worlds. As I immersed myself in these novels for long stretches, I found the strength to renew my focus and continue my epic journey.
Dad beats marathon aqua running target on the anniversary of last goodbye to daughter
I finished the aqua marathon in 19 hours, 58 minutes, and 25 seconds, beating my target time by just under 2 minutes. [On August 25th, 2024, at West Wood Club in Clontarf, Ralph completed 844 laps in a swimming pool. The finish time is pending verification from Guinness World Records and is expected to set the world record for aqua running this distance.]
Overwhelmed with emotion at the finish line, I recognized the significance of the date—exactly one year since I last saw my beautiful daughter Ella. Relief and gratitude washed over me as I saw the most important people in my life gathered to encourage and support me. Seeing all the nicest people in my life together in one room meant the world to me.
Feeling fortunate, the old Irish word “meitheal” came to mind, referring to a communal spirit where the community comes together to help someone in need. I needed it the most, and I recognized this feeling when the competition ended. I am grateful to everyone who turned out over the nearly 20 hours it took to complete the challenge. As a result, I feel honored to help raise funds for an organization that eases the burden on those who lost loved ones abroad.
