Karla Sofía Gascón first trans woman to win Best Actress at Cannes Film Festival for role in Emilia Pérez
As the first scene unfolded before me, that overwhelming fear vanished. The screen unveiled the meticulously recreated Mexican market and emotion surged through me. It was everything we envisioned. After the applause erupted at the end of the premier, I felt invincible.
- 3 months ago
September 2, 2024
Cast members from the film Emilia Pérez including Karla Sofía Gascón and co-stars Selena Gomez, Zoe Saldaña, and Adriana Paz. | Photo courtesy of Karla Sofía Gascón
CANNES, France — When I first encountered the script for the musical Emilia Pérez about the Mexican drug wars and liberation of trans people, the narrative captivated me. As an actress, I was considering the character of Emilia – the fearsome cartel leader. In the film, Emilia enlists the help of a lawyer to fake her death, escape, and finally transition to a woman to live as her true self.
The character’s journey deeply resonated with my own. I transitioned six years ago. When I discovered Emilia Pérez [coming to Netflix on November 13], I immersed myself in the script, meticulously analyzing every detail. I never imagined what lay ahead when I took the role. Climbing the stairs in the theater for the premiere, I sensed something momentous awaited me.
My intuition proved right. By the end of that night, my idols applauded my performance. When the film premiered at the Cannes Film Festival in France, where I co-starred alongside Selena Gomez, Zoe Saldaña, and Adriana Paz, we won the Ensemble Cast Award for Best Actress. I became the first trans woman to take home the honor.
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Applause erupts at Cannes Film Festival after premier of Emilia Pérez
At the beginning of my journey with Emilia Pérez, I needed to grasp the tone of the character’s experience; to understand if her transition was rooted in self-discovery or to escape justice. That distinction profoundly influenced the film and my drive to be part of it. However, during my first meeting in Paris with director Jacques Audiard, I openly shared my concerns.
I worried that conversation would jeopardize my involvement, but I needed to ensure the project aligned with my values. Portraying a male character, something I vowed not to do since my transition, posed a significant challenge. As time passed, I realized taking on the role opened doors to new possibilities.
Throughout production, my emotions ran deep so when I watched the scenes afterwards it felt risky. Part of me resisted going back into that emotional space. I did not see the finished film until it premiered at the Cannes Film Festival.
The production itself left me fulfilled, but I worried about how the audience would react. Climbing the stairs to the screening room, anxiety gripped me, knowing everything could shift for me after the premier. It felt like a transformative moment, and I carried that weight as I climbed each step.
As the first scene unfolded before me, that overwhelming fear vanished. The screen unveiled the meticulously recreated Mexican market and emotion surged through me. It was everything we envisioned. After the applause erupted at the end of the premier, I felt invincible.
Obsessed with reading comments and tracking predictions, my competitive side flared up. Suddenly, I felt determined for us to win. The next three days became a whirlwind of excitement and anxiety as I eagerly followed the film’s growing buzz.
Ensemble for Emilia Pérez wins Best Actress award, including first trans woman to win the title
On the day of the awards ceremony, I sat in the hall listening intently. Our film received a special mention during one the presentations. I silently hoped it wasn’t us because I wanted a real award. However, when they announced my fellow cast members and I collectively, as winners of the Best Actress award, the joy felt overwhelming. At the same time, I felt unsurprised; we earned it.
My joy intensified when my childhood hero George Walton Lucas Jr. [American filmmaker and creator of the Star Wars and Indiana Jones franchises] came to congratulate me. That felt like winning a second prize. In a wave of excitement, I kissed and hugged my wife and daughter. Then, ecstatic and unprepared, I stepped on stage with only a plan to thank the team in French and English.
I am not sure anyone fully understood me, but I did not care. Riding the energy of the moment, I launched into a speech advocating for trans rights. Reflecting on my journey and the hate I endured, I spontaneously declared, “Let’s see if you bastards change too!” The crowd’s approval surged through me, and in that instant, I felt truly liberated.
I knew who I was since the age of four, but growing up in the 1970s made it clear how difficult living openly would be. Throughout my life, I did my best to be honest with myself and my partners. I always told them, “I am a woman in a man’s body. You will need to accept that to be with me.” However, acknowledging it and beginning the transition are two very different realities.
Actress looks back at her own journey of transitioning
When I discovered the gender identity department in my country, I found the courage to move forward on my transition journey. In 2018, I made the definitive decision to transition. Once I committed, I never turned back. It needed to happen, and quickly. Despite the challenges I faced in the process, I have no regrets.
At times in my life, I considered suicide, overwhelmed by the immense pressure and relentless harassment society placed upon me. The attacks experienced by people who refuse to conform to their assigned gender roles remain constant and unforgiving. At my lowest point, engulfed in a dark cloud, an unexpected opportunity appeared.
I sat at my computer, tears of rage and sadness streaming down my face, and began writing the story of someone who attempts suicide. Before going through with it, this person decides to review their life. They decide they cannot die until their story is told. Writing that book became my lifeline; it saved me. I endured a great deal of suffering in my life, like many others. Yet, I came to understand suffering can be a powerful source of creation.
Without suffering, there would be no cinema, no theater, no life. It would all feel empty. The challenge lies in not getting trapped in that pit of pain. I often find myself staring into that abyss, learning from it, but always pulling back just in time. The film Emilia Pérez took me there again. While I suffered, I also felt immense joy as the first trans woman to win Best Actress at the Cannes Film Festival.
