Porn actress nearly killed by abusive ex escapes domestic violence and speaks out
I do not recall the subsequent events; I can only remember the sound of people bursting into the room and lifting my motionless body onto a stretcher.
- 5 months ago
November 25, 2023
Laura's life turned into a nightmare following a relationship with an abusive partner. Her trainer (left) took the hits while protecting her from an attack. | Photo courtesy of Laura Perea
SALTA, Argentina – I met my ex-partner while working as a porn star, but he soon became uncomfortable and bitter about my profession. On my way out of the gym with my trainer on an ordinary day in October of 2023, I looked over and saw my ex from a distance. I froze because his presence meant trouble. My fears were quickly confirmed as he started to hurl insults at me.
He marched closer and I felt my body begin to shake from fear. I was certain that anything could happen. Just two days before, he had prowled around my parent’s house wielding a knife. He planned to kill me and take his own life. “I have nothing to lose,” he kept saying.
Read more stories on domestic violence at Orato World Media.
My ex-partner became jealous of my career, sending me into hiding
On the day he showed up outside of my gym, I watched in fear as my ex’s huge and menacing figure moved closer. I could see a stone in his hand. Because of his previous threats, I requested security from the London police. I felt afraid but more confident because I believed the officer standing by me would protect me.
However, as my ex launched his attack, the officer simply looked on without moving a muscle. Thankfully, my coach stepped in to defend me. Everything happened extremely fast. They fought and I made a run for it, fleeing into the gym, screaming for help. The fight quickly ended, and my ex jumped into a car with some of his friends who were waiting to zoom off.
I spent the next few days completely horrified, believing he might show up again to finally murder me. I became a nervous wreck unable to think of anything except for the inevitable news headlines if he succeeded in killing me. At the recommendation of the police, I sheltered in a hotel in secret, unable to go home or visit anyone. The danger lurking in the streets kept me secluded and scared.
They loaded my lifeless body onto a stretcher
When our relationship began, everything seemed normal. The violence began subtly, so much so, I barely even noticed. I found myself trapped in a cycle of manipulation, love, violence, forgiveness, and promises. After the constant abuse, my ex showed periods of extreme kindness, affection, and a ‘sincere’ pledge that the behavior would not be repeated. It felt like a roller-coaster or a spinning wheel that finally crashed a year later.
My job as a porn actor remained at the root of his jealousy and violence. To reduce the friction, I began avoiding roles. As I normalized this violence, I became desensitized and began limiting myself to please him. I could no longer be the free woman I had always been. On social media, I avoided posting or interacting with men in any way. I did the same in real life. My circle of friends reduced as I distanced myself from everyone. My life no longer belonged to me; I felt like a shadow of myself.
It took me a while but one day I realized I could no longer endure life with a person who stole my happiness and my dreams. Alone at home in a trance, I went to the medicine cabinet, filled my palm with a concoction of pills, and poured myself a glass of champagne. I wasn’t thinking about committing suicide. Rather, I just needed a break from all the problems. I knew I was no longer in the right frame of mind. A break, I thought, could help me escape the situation. I do not recall the subsequent events; I can only remember the sound of people bursting into the room and lifting my motionless body onto a stretcher.
Removing myself from the toxic situation but refusing to take any legal action
A few days passed before I opened my eyes in the emergency unit at the hospital. After I returned to our flat, it dawned on me that I actually had to protect myself from this man who was out to torment and destroy me. I was able to completely remove the veil that prevented me from seeing what was in front of me.
While I had seemingly torn apart that veil, I still had not made a physical effort to escape. The beatings and violence continued and the tension escalated to an unbearable point. The next time he hit me, he began to also hit himself without stopping. It seemed so bizarre. I could not fathom how I got there, to that moment. I summoned the courage to do something, so I picked up the phone and dialed the police. Instantly, the beast within him vanished and he switched – speaking tenderly and apologizing. I nodded and expressed my undying love for him but in my heart, I knew there was no turning back.
Laura says that working in the sex industry, while a legitimate career, means that she is often judged and victimized. | Photo courtesy of Laura Perea.
I finally ended it but found it difficult to follow through with the justice system. While I could prove the attacks, I decided not to take legal action. I worried about the consequences that might have on getting a work visa in countries like the United Kingdom where I had prospective jobs. The moment I made a change, he shifted to harassing me virtually. I continued to normalize it. “He’s crazy and it’s just a message,” I would say, but I was wrong.
Two years of unending persecution and then some good news
Getting my life back proved harder than I imagined, and reconnecting with my family and friends felt like a walk of shame. They warned me about him, and I never listened. As I struggled to rebuild lost relationships, he continued his relentless torture – sending me constant, troubling messages. I ignored them but he remained always on my mind.
I quit my job as a porn actress as I experienced some insults at the hands of my colleagues. For two years, I engaged in no filming. I continued to avoid men on social media and at parties. In fact, I felt afraid to talk to any new people. As soon as someone approached me, my imagination drowned me in all the ideas of what they might do. I feared everyone.
My former lover and the memories of his violence seemed to rule my subconscious, affecting all my actions from a distance. Inwardly, I felt like a damaged woman. Three days after the episode outside the gym, I received news that brought me some relief. My ex had been taken into custody. When the authorities told me, I felt like a heavy weight rose off my shoulders. Suddenly the tension tightening my muscles disappeared. After years, I felt some relief.
The macho culture and society’s bias towards the sex industry
When the case went public, I realized that the macho culture is still very present in society, even in a first-world democracy like the United Kingdom. Despite being the victim of domestic violence, men and women wrote to me on social media to say I deserved what I went through because of my work in the porn industry and my image. Yet, their messages felt like nothing in comparison to the scary ordeal I endured with my ex.
It has been several months now, and I am back to feeling in control of my life again. I returned to filming scenes with other men, and I am more confident and comfortable. No longer do I feel afraid of reproach. My finances began to improve, and I resumed some of the projects I halted like building my home. Currently, I live with my parents, but I am slowly regaining my independence.
Sometimes I think I could have done things differently. My empathetic personality led me to believe I could fix a broken person. My kind heart did not want to leave him alone, despite his horrifying actions towards me. I should have ended the relationship earlier than I did but I feel that because of my personality, it took a narrow escape from death for me to realize that I had to save myself.
I know that millions of people are in toxic and violent relationships like I once was. They must hold on to whatever help that comes their way. Take my advice and talk to the right people, people who care about you. From my own experience, I know it is tough to open up to them. The fear of not being believed and of people saying bad things about you can be paralyzing. However, it is necessary to summon the courage to speak up. Victims of domestic abuse deserve to be heard and deserve to live free like everyone else.
