Upon my return to Zimbabwe, I faced an unfamiliar and desperate situation. I had never encountered sex work before, but circumstances forced me into it as a means of survival. In Zimbabwe, we refer to it as ‘touchline,’ where women stand by precast walls or roadsides to attract men and other passersby.
EPWORTH, Zimbabwe — In 2022, when Russia invaded Ukraine, I fled back to Zimbabwe, leaving my children behind. Instead of focusing on my education while in Ukraine, I gave birth to three children, which troubled my parents. This guilt prevented me from returning to my parents’ home. So, when I came back to Zimbabwe, I settled in Epworth, an informal settlement 18 kilometers from the capital of Harare.
Coming back to Zimbabwe after years in Eastern Europe, I found the country far less promising than when I left. My financial situation quickly deteriorated despite receiving monthly support from my husband in Ukraine. I found myself struggling to cover all my expenses. As a result, I turned to commercial sex work.
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As a young woman facing limited opportunities in Zimbabwe, my family sent me to Ukraine to pursue my higher education and explore better job prospects. In 2015, at 19 years old, I started my second year at the University of Economics in Ukraine. There, I encountered significant social pressure that influenced my decision making. In time, I engaged in a sexual relationship with a man from Sierra Leone, who now resides in Germany.
Consequently, I became pregnant. Despite my determination to continue my studies, the pregnancy presented significant challenges, but I gave birth. I took a sabbatical for a year and met a man from Nigeria. We became casually involved and while he was not my boyfriend, I soon found out I was six weeks pregnant. The psychological disturbances I experienced in my first pregnancy still haunted me.
The man and I agreed to abort the pregnancy. I went to a clinic where they gave me two pills. Two hours after taking the medication, I experienced severe pain and went to the bathroom, where I expelled the fetus.
After some time, I entered into another relationship without disclosing that I already had one child. When I carried my third pregnancy, I ran away from my partner for five months. The cut-off for an abortion in Ukraine is 10 weeks, and I decided to keep the baby.
Despite significant challenges, I carried the pregnancy to term. In time, I had three children who are now ages eight, five, and two. My family sent me to Ukraine in the hopes I might forge a brighter future. Instead, I became a mother at a very young age.
Returning to my home country of Zimbabwe, I faced an unfamiliar and desperate situation. I never encountered sex work before, but circumstances forced me into it as a means of survival. In Zimbabwe, we refer to sex work as “touchline,” where women stand by walls or roadsides to attract men and passersby.
Sadly, I began to live a life I never imagined. One regular day, while waiting on the street for customers, a man approached me. He expressed interest in a serious relationship, promising to marry me. He urged me to leave the streets behind.
Wanting to escape the harsh reality of sex work, I agreed to become his girlfriend. As our relationship progressed, we stopped using protection, and I again became pregnant. When I informed him about the pregnancy, he assured me he would take care of the baby and encouraged me to keep it.
As the months passed, he gradually disappeared from my life. I soon discovered the man had a wife. He deceived me, leaving me in a vulnerable position. Fearing the prospect of raising a child alone, I sought advice from my former colleagues in sex work. They advised me to either abort the pregnancy or face the challenges of single motherhood.
In my desperation, I took help from a man recommended in the community. He attempted to use “Mufuta,” a traditional herb, to induce an abortion by injecting it at the mouth of my cervix [the lower, narrow end of the uterus (womb) that connects the uterus to the vagina]. When the procedure failed, I suspected the man used the opportunity to help me as a cover for his sexual desires.
Immediately, I left that place. Soon after, my colleagues referred me to an elderly woman in our neighborhood. Feeling optimistic, I turned to her for immediate treatment. She used the same herb and succeeded with the procedure.
She instructed me to drink warm water until the fetus expelled. I experienced excruciating pain, far beyond anything I felt before, even in previous abortions. I bled, cried, and endured until the fetus finally dropped, and I flushed it down the toilet. The pain lingered, and I began to recover only weeks later.
I live with regret and sorrow after this harrowing experience of having a secret abortion without proper medical care. To prevent another pregnancy, I decided to get a contraceptive injection. Now, I long to return to Ukraine. I feel desperate to reunite with my children and husband, leaving this painful chapter behind. I regret the path I chose. Nevertheless, I am dedicated to seeking peace and redemption as I move forward.