After meeting a gay couple who desperately wanted a child, she decided to become a surrogate mother
Once again, the doctors transferred two embryos into my body. This time, they both successfully implanted. When I received the positive results from the clinic, tears of joy streamed down my face. I immediately called José and Rubén to share the incredible news.
- 1 year ago
June 26, 2023
Rocío wished to maintain a relationship to the surrogate child after the birth. When she met José and Rubén, the intended parents of the twins, it felt like faith. The three of them agreed to keep a strong bond throughout the entire process and afterwards. | Photo courtesy of Rocío Agustina Pecile
BUENOS AIRES, Argentina — In my womb, I carry a pair of twins who are not my own. I decided to become a surrogate mother for a couple after witnessing their struggle to start a family. My first exposure to surrogacy came through stories of famous people like Flavio Mendoza, Ricardo Fort, and Ricky Martin. I began researching why surrogacy seemed absent in Argentina. I saw surrogacy as an opportunity to help someone who really needed it, but first, I wanted to bear a child of my own.
From a young age, I felt a strong desire to be a mother and wanted to be a young mother. The idea of growing up alongside my daughter appealed to me. Today, I am 27 years old and my daughter Olivia is six. Once Olivia came into the world, I felt prepared to move forward and help someone else.
In a Facebook group I joined, I read people’s stories and learned about the legalities. After connecting with a couple, I offered myself as a surrogate. My desire to do this lacks an explanation. It simply came to me.
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As soon as I met the couple, I knew I wanted to help
I enjoyed my first pregnancy so much; I wished it never ended! Surrogacy felt like a wonderful way to experience pregnancy again without having another child of my own. I reached out to some couples and a girl traveled from another province to meet me.
We met at a clinic and began talking. I found out her partner wanted no contact with me after the birth, so I said no. Although I understand they are not my babies, they are people with whom I share a significant connection. I wished to preserve that connection even after their birth.
In that same Facebook group, I came across the story of José and Rubén, a gay couple residing in Spain. They felt drawn to the idea of pursuing surrogacy in Argentina because their previous experience in Europe left them feeling uncomfortable. In Ukraine, the hospital denied them the right to meet the surrogate mother, and the whole process felt impersonal.
We decided not to establish a compensation agreement. They assisted me with medical expenses and reimbursed the time I took off work to focus on the pregnancy, particularly during the last weeks. Meeting them and making a connection felt so enjoyable.
When the first attempts failed, a lot of anxiety took over
Soon, complications set in. The treatment for surrogacy involves a significant amount of medication, which administered in the form of hormone injections into my belly. Three times, I underwent embryo transfers. The first attempt yielded a negative result.
The second time, doctors transferred two embryos but only one successfully attached to the uterus. Then, it failed to develop. In that moment, I felt helpless over my body’s ability to achieve this couple’s dream. Distress set in, but they offered me unwavering support. We decided to give it another try.
Once again, the doctors transferred two embryos into my body. This time, they both successfully implanted. When I received the positive results from the clinic, tears of joy streamed down my face. I immediately called José and Rubén to share the incredible news.
I understood their deep desire to be parents. I felt that when I dreamed of becoming a mother. As I witnessed the overwhelming emotions they felt, a sense of empathy overcame me. It felt like a dream come true to help them; to bring these lives into the world; and to know I helped them fulfill their greatest desire. Every step of the way, my own family supported me too. That felt incredible. It relieved my stress and made me certain about what I was doing.
Knowing I am helping two incredible people start a family brings me so much joy
From the beginning, I made my daughter aware of everything. When José and Rubén traveled to Argentina to meet me, I brought her along. I wanted her to see and understand the significance of this journey.
During one of our car rides, I explained to her, “José and Rubén share a loving relationship and marriage. They want to have a baby, but they need a woman’s ovum. Once they have that, they need someone to carry the baby in her womb. Mommy wants to be that person.” She took time to process it, and occasionally asking me to explain it again.
Not overly concerned about my health, I remain focused on reaching full term and sharing a beautiful birth experience with the twins’ parents. José and Rubén asked to be present during delivery. We intend to undergo a natural birth process. Once the twins are born, I will immediately give them to their new parents. I won’t be breastfeeding them, avoiding anything that could create attachment.
I remain uncertain whether I would undergo this journey again, despite how enjoyable it has been. One of the aspects that brings me the most happiness is sharing and publicizing my story. I like people to become aware of this option.
Often, individuals message me. It feels incredibly gratifying to talk to families who yearn to have children but face challenges. I love telling them they have a chance to fulfill their dreams. To me, that remains the most valuable aspect of this entire experience.
